The End is Coming. Finally.

Get thee out of my quiet, lovely, Valley of Wisdom, you Negative Nancy, you!

The end of Warlords of Draenor is coming, Legion is almost here, and it’s about damned time. I have to say, I’m so past ready for new stuff in WoW that I am nearly apathetic to the fact that in 26 days, there’ll be new things to do.

Warlords of Draenor was a disappointment for me in many ways, and perfectly enjoyable in other ways. I, like many others, feel that the devs missed the boat with garrisons. I resented greatly being made to play my supposedly immersive, massively-multiplayer role-playing game as if it were one of those utterly ridiculous Facebook games that makes you spam everyone else’s Facebook feed with requests to join the game just so you can get 5 more resources…I mean, coins. Garrisonville missed the mark with me, big time, to the point where even though I knew how much gold I could’ve been making, I never optimized even one of my 5 level 100 characters’ garrison to rake in the 1000s of gold I saw others hauling in daily.

Lore-wise, I thought WoD really nailed everything during questing. I still haven’t done the Alliance side of the experience, but I thought the Horde side of the experience was amazing. Even now, if I leveled another alt through Frostfire, the cinematic at the end of the zone would give me chills. The cutscene in Talador induced both chills and tears, as well as a fierce desire to eradicate the Iron Horde, Gul’dan, and everything he stood for. I was so excited during questing! Then the end of the questing came and…well. Between there being nothing story-driven and the fact that most of my guild felt the same way, I quit playing WoD about 6 weeks in, for a period of about 4 months. I basically only logged in once a day to swap missions around and do my AH business. I was really disillusioned.

Over time, I managed to get all 5 of my previously-capped toons to 100 on my main Horde server. I also got my second hunter to level 60 and promptly server-transferred her with a faction swap so I could join a guild I had friends in on the Alliance side, in order to pursue my Alliance Loremaster. This is mostly out of a desire to understand the other side of the faction coin; I’ve been such a Dirty Hordie for almost all of my 7+ years of playing WoW. Previously I had only ever leveled to about 31 with a toon on Alliance side, after which point I gave up because Darkshire is goddamn depressing. I used my Legion pre-purchase boost to bring that same hunter to 100, which means I’ll be able to do all of the 1-100 content with ease and then get her to 110, eventually. I’ll always be a For the Horde kind of gal, but I am such a fan of lore, I have to experience it all.

At this point, though (and really, for months now), I’m just tired of waiting for the new content. Next Tuesday will be great, assuming that the Demon Hunter new area isn’t so clogged with pre-purchasers that the lag is too bad to play. I’m interested in the lore of the DHs, too, of course, plus the idea of a new melee class is interesting for sure. For someone like me who took a long, long time to come around to the idea of playing melee at all, that’s kind of a big statement. However, because I’m uncertain about changes to my beloved Beast Mastery, I figure that I need to keep my mind open to the fact that for the first time ever I might enjoy playing a different class/spec more than my usual “BM FOR LIFE” mentality.

Upon consideration, however, I’m actually quite glad that I’m on vacation from August 25-31. I won’t have to endure that last week of sitting in my desk chair, bouncing like Tigger, going “OMG IS IT HERE YET?!”, because I’ll be busy with extremely the pleasurable pursuits of showing off my home state to a highly-anticipated visitor. I return home the day after launch, which means I’ll miss out on some of the awful server lag and maybe the worst of the queues to get online. I’ve never been the one who wants to race through leveling, anyway, so world-first level 110 hunter will not go to me, and that’s the way I like it. I’m going to take my time with leveling, though I may do some dungeons along the way this time around so that I’m not so hopeless about them when I actually reach 110. You wouldn’t believe the flak I’ve taken over the years when I get to max level and tell people in dungeons “this is my first time in here”. Some people are completely incredulous that one would not want to do dungeons as one leveled. It’s never been my favorite thing, but it might be time to shake things up a bit in my approach to the game, to make sure it really does feel new and fresh.

The end is finally coming; bring on the new already!

Getting back on the path

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I wonder if other people react the same way to this: someone tells you how awesome you are at something, and then you automatically don’t want to do it anymore for fear that you will somehow let them down with your sudden lack of awesomeness at this thing which you were ostensibly great at. That was the catalyst that initially stopped me writing last year; someone told me she loved my blogs and suddenly I had writer’s block. I can’t blame it all on her, because the issue was really my own insecurity. It was like as soon as I knew I had a captive audience, my brain was like “OH GOD, NOW I HAVE TO DELIVER?!” and just noped off to the corner to stick its fingers in its ears with the requisite “lalalala I can’t hear you” mantra.

The thing is, I really did just start this thing to keep myself accountable for my journey, and that was the other thing that failed in the last 7 months. I haven’t been successful at holding myself accountable at all, despite going through periods of real effort at doing so. I got obstinate and surly about the fact that I seemingly (because we really don’t know what other people’s struggles are, do we?) have to work so much harder than others to reach and obtain optimal health. And that ugly asshole, Depression, reared its head for a while too, and because I’m an emotional eater, guess what happened there? Yup, a gain of 25 lbs.

So, now I’m struggling to regain my consistency in both nutrition and exercise, but I blatantly refuse to give up entirely. Nobody else is going to be able to make this happen for me, so if I want it, I have to do it myself. As a result of the reaffirmation of that understanding in my brain, my efforts have to be re-doubled….really, re-trebled if I’m going to get ahead. Apparently sometimes on a journey of 1000 miles, you end up retracing your steps here and there. I suppose that’s something we all should already know; how many of us get side-tracked off of the path to our goals and end up facing the wrong way, or re-treading the same ground we’ve already traversed? I think it’s a part of the human condition, but that doesn’t mean I can’t consciously choose to try to counteract that tendency.

Alright then, here goes. Time for yet another #notestomyself:

Dear Twenty,

It’s time to get your ass in gear and hold yourself accountable again.  You *need * this,  mentally and physically,  to be a better massage therapist,  a better family member and friend, a better girlfriend…a better, happier, healthier you.  So, go. Take care of yourself so that you can take care of everything and everyone else that is important to you.

You’ve got this. I love you, and so do a lot of others. GO FOR IT!

Love,

Me