An Unexpected Fork in the Road

My most recent post prior to this one had to do with my health, and I guess this is an update of sorts, though I wasn’t planning on ever having to write about this particular topic.

I went in to the doctor today for my yearly physical, which of course comes with a blood draw and the associated number values and such. Today there was only one that stood out… I’ve been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes.

To be honest, I suspected I was pretty close. I’ve been pre-diabetic for a while, and none of the attempts I’ve made to lose weight and get healthier in the past have worked in the long term. I mean…obviously they haven’t, or I wouldn’t be sitting here writing about a disease brought on by extreme excess weight (among other things). Suspecting and knowing, however, are two different things.

I find the emotion I’m having most prevalently is anger. I’m pretty pissed at myself for not doing something about this sooner. Second comes shame; I’m ashamed at how poorly I have cared for myself. Third emotion is just sadness, and I don’t think I really need to explain why I’m sad. I just am.

The good news about my diagnosis is this: in terms of where they want me to be for blood sugars, I’m there. In other words, I’m already “at goal” for a type 2 diabetes diagnosis. Adding the pill they want me to take (yuck) and adjusting my diet and exercise level should at least keep me where I am, and potentially can reverse everything and send the diabetes into remission.

I’m essentially at the point in my assimilation of this information where my brain isn’t taking in any more. I’m trying to get my even keel back under me and figuring out how to move forward. If you’re reading this, don’t feel too badly for me. I’d much rather deal with this particular ailment than many, many others. I’ve got good support around me from family and friends, and I have enough resources to be able to start treating myself properly right away. If you’re reading this, and you think you might need help with diabetes, you can get more information at http://www.diabetes.org/.

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